


Inktober: Intimacy

by Akira_of_the_Twilight



Series: Inktober 2017 [15]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Communication, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-15 10:46:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12319467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira_of_the_Twilight/pseuds/Akira_of_the_Twilight
Summary: Bucky’s hands drifted to Tony’s waist.Tony screwed his eyes shut and shoved down the voice in the back of his head that reprimanded him for letting Bucky touch him, for daring to even think of Bucky romantically. He focused on the kiss. He paid attention to the softness of Bucky’s lips as he laced his fingers through Bucky’s hair and held him in place.If he just kept kissing Bucky, just focused on the feel, eventually his mutinous thoughts would fade away.





	Inktober: Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> Also, a special thanks to [Mysenia](http://mysenia.tumblr.com/), who beta read every single snippet and drabble. You're the best!
> 
> To read on tumblr [click here](http://akira-of-the-twilight.tumblr.com/post/166420173899/inktober-intimacy).
> 
> To find the prompts for this Inktober Challenge [click here](http://akira-of-the-twilight.tumblr.com/post/165748460988/spymastery-as-i-mentioned-doing-just-yesterday/).

Bucky’s hands drifted to Tony’s waist.

Tony screwed his eyes shut and shoved down the voice in the back of his head that reprimanded him for letting Bucky touch him, for daring to even think of Bucky romantically. He focused on the kiss. He paid attention to the softness of Bucky’s lips as he laced his fingers through Bucky’s hair and held him in place.

If he just kept kissing Bucky, just focused on the feel, eventually his mutinous thoughts would fade away.

Bucky broke the kiss. His warm breath came out in puffs that ghosted Tony’s lips. “You’re trembling.”

Damn it. Tony pulled Bucky down to continue their kiss. His other hand wrapped around Bucky’s waist. He tried to slide his hand up Bucky’s bare back, but Bucky’s shirt was too long and he had to wrestle with the fabric.

Bucky broke the kiss again and took half a step back to put some distance between them. “Tony, stop. You’re shaking like a leaf.”

“Ever hear the phrase, ‘quaking with desire?’” Tony tried to kiss Bucky again, but Bucky yanked his head back.

“‘I know the phrase, but I also know the difference between trembling in fear and quaking with desire.” Bucky dropped his hands from Tony, and it was somehow more painful than a punch to Tony. “I know we’re trying to make this thing work between the four of us, but you don’t need to force yourself to have sex with me. It’s okay if you only want to be intimate with Steve and Clint.”

“That’s not what I want. It’s just my stupid head, okay? If we have sex now then I won’t tremble next time. I just need to get over this hurdle.”

“And what hurdle is that?” Bucky laid his hands on Tony’s back, holding Tony loosely, and Tony just about sighed in relief. He loved Bucky; he really did. He also wanted to be with Bucky intimately, but his usual willingness when it came to sex was being hampered by morals and guilt that he deeply wished he didn’t have.

Bracing himself, Tony let go of Bucky. He slipped out of Bucky’s hold only to cup Bucky’s hands with his own. “You didn’t kill my mom, but these hands were used to do so.”

Pain and guilt contorted Bucky’s features. He tried to yank his hands away, but Tony held onto to them.

“Don’t get me wrong. I love these hands, and I want these hands all over me, but my brain won’t shut up. It keeps reminding me about my mom and how she died, and those kind of thoughts aren’t the kind of thoughts that turn me on.”

“I’m sorry.” Bucky hung his head.

“I forgave you a long time ago, Bucky.” Tony sighed and dropped Bucky’s hands. He crossed his arms. “I just wish my conscious would get over it.”

“We don’t have to have sex.”

“But I want to.” Tony took a step forward and rested his forehead on Bucky’s shoulder. “Why can’t I have sex with my cyborg boyfriend?”

Bucky hugged Tony’s head, then kissed Tony’s temple. “Because you’re a good guy. Look on the brightside. Until we get through this, at least we have Steve and Clint if we get any physical urges.”

“I don’t think they’d appreciate hearing how they’re the booby prize.”

“You know that’s not what I meant. We’re not alone in this, and who knows? Maybe the solution is our first time together can’t be just us. And if we never find a way to overcome this-”

Tony groaned.

“If we never find a way to overcome this,” Bucky repeated louder, “it will be fine. You’re still my boyfriend even if we can’t have sex.”

“You’re such a sap,” Tony said.

Bucky chuckled and kissed his head. “Yeah, but I love you, so it’s okay.”


End file.
